Relationships are tricky, aren’t they?
In his post “Obligations Are Optional”, realgoesright.wordpress.com said, “It is my opinion that relationships are optional agreements that you’ve entered into with another person. As such, you are free to leave at any given moment, and it will cost you nothing to leave.
Do you agree? I do, on these points –
- Relationships ARE optional agreements – both people have to say “yes,” verbally, understood or assumed.
- Having a relationship with ANYONE is a choice.
- I can leave any relationship, regardless of consequences.
My mantra – if I don’t enrich your life in some way, and you don’t enrich mine, then we’re wasting time.
Sound harsh? Maybe. Lonely? For some. Snobby? Hardly.
Meaningful friendships require cultivation, akin to gardening. Don’t plop a seed in the ground and walk away. A seed needs water, food, cultivation, sunlight.
I’ve been fortunate to have a few fun, worthwhile friendships. After tons of fun and laughs, the days went dark and the well went dry…
As a highly sensitive person, I meter out intimate, vulnerable parts of “self.” If a friendships ends up on the back of the counter like a wasting root-beer float, I feel cheated and stupid.
I don’t want to be attached to a string of broken promises.
Call me crazy, selfish, demanding, unrealistic. Label me any way that makes you comfortable. I don’t give a shit. I’m stepping over into the ‘indifferent’ part of the garden now.
Burn your obligation to the ground. Here’s your box of matches.
The price I pay for the promises is more than I want to spend. The promises grow like weeds.
I can’t remember them all anymore. Maybe that’s a good thing.
Mustang.Koji
Jul 20, 2012 @ 14:49:34
Boy, that is a difficult question to answer!
seapunk2
Jul 20, 2012 @ 15:38:43
‘Tis, and the answer depend on the person who’s answering…
newsofthetimes
Jul 20, 2012 @ 16:09:20
Love it!! How liberating…sign me up!
seapunk2
Jul 20, 2012 @ 18:03:37
Consider yourself signed!
Alex Jones
Jul 22, 2012 @ 07:08:37
I agree. Relationships are Trade: all bring something of value to the other to the table, and all leave the winner. If anyone loses in a trade, why trade? Same goes with relationships.
seapunk2
Jul 22, 2012 @ 07:48:40
Yes, in trade, there is a perceived benefit/value system. If the traders, so to speak, think the trade is equal, fair and worthwhile, it works! In relationships of any kind, the same applies, though the emotional investment stakes are higher.
It may be apparent that this post was written in response to numerous broken promises by a friend. I suppose she was all she could be. My problem is that I believed the promises were real, and now, I think they were just stalling techniques. I’ve struggled with this throughout my life. It’s very sad, really…
Alex Jones
Jul 22, 2012 @ 07:50:00
If a business broke its promises then it loses customers, same goes with friends, they quickly become unfriends.
seapunk2
Jul 22, 2012 @ 07:54:43
Thanks, Alex. Leaving the relationship, per se, was a difficult and emotional wrenching decision. I decided that one big hurt was better than regular, repeated broken promises.
Now, ONWARD AND FORWARD! 😀