What kind of a hole are you, anyway?

  1. Pass-hole! An automobile driver who insists on passing you, under every circumstance possible, because he or she wants to be ahead of you on the roadway.  You call him a pass-hole but he doesn’t hear the “p.”
  2. Grass-hole!  A person in your neighborhood who mows the lawn while you’re napping or while you’re concentrating on your BLOG and you’re going for the slingshot…
  3. Spokes-hole!  An individual who’s a shill,  is obnoxious about it,  you’re fully aware of it and the situation forces you to look for something to STUFF the pie hole with.
  4. Tip-hole! Someone who doesn’t leave or give a tip, even if the service is fantastic and that someone has more money than God. It’s so embarrassing that I’d like to accidentally tip my dry martini down the front of his shirt.  Oops… well, it is a dry martini… Beat it.  Go count your money.
  5. Glass-hole!  The jerk who always manages to drink from your glass, whether you like it or not. Fine, it’s yours now… Dig in glass-hole…
  6. Smoke-hole! The fool who lights up inside the house, during dinner or blows smoke directly into your face. The smoke-hole needs a lesson in smoking etiquette.  Try quitting.  Someone needs to shove those orange flavored cancer sticks right up, well, you know.
  7. Smoking-hole! Not to be confused with a smoke-hole.  Smoking-hole is the lunatic who HAS TO smoke through the hole in his neck.  Just skip right past the lips, lose the voice box and let the Darth Vader impersonation begin!
  8. Jerk-hole!  Someone who’s an asshole, but too young or sensitive to be called an asshole.
  9. Queue-hole!  The inconsiderate buffoon who holds up the line at the bank or retail establishment, because of incessant small talk.  Get going, loser.  No one gives a shit, don’t you get it?
  10. Holy-hole!  The religious know-it-all, who knows it all, and wants you to know it all, and the ‘all’ that the holy-hole knows, knows no bounds. It’s a world without end.  Where’s the off switch, eh?
  11. Dog-hole!  The dog walker who lets her dog shit right on your lawn,  while you watch, or lets their dog out for the evening, after ten or eleven.  Is that mutt going to bark       all        night        long?  Are you insane?  Someone’s going to knock the woof right out of that dog and, I won’t say who…
  12. Stink-hole! Get that guy outta here! What the hell is everyone waiting for – the PC genie went back into the bottle!   He stinks so badly, that we can smell him from the other side of the grocery store!  How deliciously appetizing!  Buying organic foods with a stink-hole’s stink hanging over you like a dark green cloud, permeating into your clothes and finally, your pores. The stink-hole always finds is way to us, on every aisle, and we refer to him by his real name, Stink-a-Rinko, but we call him Stinko, for short.  Got to go!